How Vet Med Prepared Me for Motherhood (kind of)

By: Dr. Marisa Markey

PC: Samantha Gibson

You will often hear that nothing prepares you for motherhood or parenthood. That is so true in many ways; nothing in the world could have prepared me for how much my world has turned upside down, or how quickly this tiny human has become my EVERYTHING. However, my intention here is not to gush about how much I love my baby, even though I do. What I’ve been thinking about lately is how much my life in veterinary medicine, or more broadly in caring for animals, has prepared me for this. I am also very aware that we are only at 6 months and I have years of surprises and learning ahead of me.

I’m not going to talk about pregnancy and labour because if I’m being honest, animals just do that so much better than I did. I told my obstetrician that horses generally give birth within 30 minutes and that was what I was expecting, she laughed, I was not joking. Fast forward to 3 hours of pushing and turns out I’m a human, not a horse. 

“Nothing prepares you for the emotional highs and lows”

Every. Single. Day. of veterinary medicine prepares you to deal with an emotional rollercoaster. To go from a successful prepurchase exam to a colic, to a new foal exam, to a quality of life discussion. You never know what you are going into and to be honest, most of us feel every one of these emotions. We are not “used to it” we are not “numb to it”. We feel it and we have a well-established emotional awareness routine and support system. For me it is music, chocolate, my family and friends, and movement - preferably walks with my dog. So you better believe I was using every tool in my toolbox to stay grounded through the roller coaster that was the newborn stage!

“Nothing prepares you for the lack of sleep”

An internship does! I will admit that I have never gone this long without a proper stretch of sleep, that part is new. However, the feeling of exhaustion and knowing my limits around it, that is a skill I’ve been working on for years. I know how long I can be awake before my judgement becomes seriously compromised (39 hours if you’re asking). I know when I need to ask for someone else to tag in way before that 39 hour end point. Maybe most important for this is that I have learned to sleep absolutely anywhere. A random couch with a barn cat? Sure! A hay bale with a horse cooler as my blanket? Why not? The passenger seat of a car? Definitely. Squished into a love seat with my 80lb dog because he wants to escape the crying too? Yep!

“Nothing prepares you for the fact that you won’t have time to eat”

This is an important one, preparation is the key. In the newborn stage, and even now, I am so thankful for my recipe book of nutrient-dense one-handed snacks. I make delicious power balls with oats, peanut butter, honey, and nuts; I literally survived on these in the first few weeks, we even brought some to the hospital with us when I went into labour. Powerballs, smoothies, muffins, cookies, pre-chopped fruit - essentials in the vet truck and the new parent diet.

“Nothing prepares you for all the bodily fluids”

This one made me laugh. My husband used to ask what the random stains were on my pants after a day of work, the answer usually is “poop, blood, or dirt, I’m not sure”. He stopped asking. Spit up? Better than reflux. Baby poop? Washes right off. There is a technique that vets and techs (and I’m assuming human medical professionals) are taught called ‘Clean hand, dirty hand’. This technique keeps one hand clean or sterile while the other is considered dirty. This is very important for surgical preparation, sterile fields, making notes while doing dirty work, etc. Also incredibly helpful for diaper changes as it turns out :)

“Nothing prepares you for the thankless task of newborns”

I will admit this one was hard. For the first 6 weeks, you get very little feedback from your baby to make all of the energy and effort feel okay. No smiles, no hugs, no signs of recognition at all really. Thankfully I’ve learned through my life working with animals that they very rarely say thank you when we do something for them. In fact, they often dislike me and have no problems showing it. I’ve certainly never had a horse give me a hug after I’ve tubed them to make their belly feel better or applied a bandage. I have learned to find the thank you in their comfort, their silence, maybe a deep exhale into my hand or a head on my chest for a moment. I needed to remember that in those first weeks. I took solace in her moments of quiet contentment. The slight lean of her head into my chest. The tight grasp of her fingers around mine. Take the thank you where you can find it.

I could go on and on, as it turns out when you spend your life dedicated to caring for animals, the switch to a baby isn’t that different. You put them first while carefully monitoring yourself for signs that you need to recharge. 

Here is one thing that I’m feeling wholly unprepared for - how to do both. As much as I am absolutely loving the time that I get to spend with my baby girl, I have missed working, my team, the horses and their people. I am planning to return to work May 16th and I just have no idea how I’m going to balance these things, nothing has prepared me for that. Thankfully, I am not the first, I will not be the last, and I will lean on the collective wisdom to find that balance. So if I happen to show up to an emergency with a husband and baby in tow, please know that I just couldn’t separate how much I care about your horse and my baby girl all at the same time. She’s got to learn about Mom’s job eventually right?